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Gay Peoples Chronicle

April 1986*

HEALTHWISE: Why the Battle is not so simple

By THEODORE R. WILSON

This will be the last time I write for this column as Chairperson for the Health Issues Taskforce. Beginning in April, Jeff Swindler begins serving in that capacity

There are 50 many thoughts, ideas, and feelings I could express if I chose to make this a literary swansong. However, as I am still so enmeshed in the work of AIDS in this community and in the Taskforce, I find I lack perspective for a reflective overview. It

should all be so simple. There is a crisis, this time a health crisis: there is a generous gay community willing to give its time and money. Put them together and a

hasn't it, why doesn't it work this way? The gay community's frustration that it

been this simple is apparent. The only greater frustration has been that there is no cure for AIDS immediately forthcoming.

Crises don't occur in a vacuum. Rather, they occur in an environment of established ideas and feelings. For persons with AIDS to receive humane and comprehensive services assumes (1) that all persons with the illness are entitled to and given such services (they aren't) and (2) that there is a compassionate society concerned for those individ uals who fall prey to AIDS (there isn't). Our society is not kind to persons of "difference" and is very begrudging in its provision of resources. Hence, there is no way to accomplish the goal of services for persons with AIDS without dealing with the environment in which it operates. Getting through the "layers" to arrive at working on the problem takes untold hours.

Most persons are "smart" enough not to say "I don't care if fairies die," al-

though their behavior, i.e. their dragging their feet, indicates that is, in fact, what they do think. Falwell's statements are easy to hone in on; most people just look the other

way. But stepping on or stepping over still leaves the individual lying in the dirt. It takes countless hours to change attitudes of open hostility or indifference; their effect is the same. Yet, this "layer" must be opened up and dealt with before the issue of AIDS can

The point is not simply to set the record straight but to help people realize that financially our resources are few and that when people have full time responsibilities in addition to their work on AIDS, it is unreasonable to expect that much will be done quickly. Re-

"There are cases of individuals with AIDS [in Cleveland] who wish to go it alone. Because of their own homophobia or their fear of external homophobia, they are not receptive to support from a caring community."

be addressed.

Another assumption which seems to be present is that there is a large amount of federal and state dollars available for AIDS. I think even the gay_community assumes this. To the best of my knowledge the only federal and state dollars currently operating in Cleveland are for the alternative test site program, the AIDS hotline, the U.S. Conference of Mayor's small grant to us (HIT) and, maybe, one or two small research grants given to local hospitals.

of,

The importance of this is not only that we are not getting dollars but that the main players on the local scene are working on AIDS in addition to, on top their other assignments and obligations. The Mike Ledermans, the Lenny Calabreses. the Diana Richardsons the Jane McIntyres, the Ellen Colemans, the Mark Lehmans, the Jeff Swindlers, the Jerry Bores's, etc. etc. have full time responsibilities in addition to the time they spend on AIDS. This was brought home to me personally when I became aware that some members of HIT's board assumed I was paid at University Hospitals to work with persons with AIDS. I am not. What I do is in addition to my full time responsibilities for which I accountable.

sources are meager and limited.

Another reason it is difficult to link a generous, caring gay community to persons with AIDS has even more complex roots. Of the 47 cases of AIDS in Cuyahoga County reported as of 1/8/86 I am fairly confident in saying 43 are gay or bisexual men. Understand, I am generalizing, but most of these men wish to conduct their lives and the treatment of their disease in private. They are uncomfortable being identified as persons with AIDS and fear. public identification as such, even when the individuals who wish to provide support have the best of intentions. Put yourself in their place. They are tryng to maintain whatever source(s) of normality they have in their lives. Their fears regarding public acknowledgement are not unwarrant ed. They see the same TV programs we all do stories of persons with AIDS being evicted, losing jobs, denied access to public accomodaetc. I can't promise tions, them it won't happen to them as well.

The experiences of New York and San Francisco, with large numbers of persons with AIDS whose friends are worn out from caring for the dying and where patients have few families or friends

available or accessible for support

is not the case

here. Our friends with AIDS

have these resources. The issue here is more often one of the individual with AIDS informing his own potentially supportive persons. This extended family may not be large in numbers, but they are the ones the individual with AIDS deems are important to him. With support from health care staff, they provide what is needed.

There are cases of indi-

viduals with AIDS who

to go it alone. Made aware that' there are concerned volunteers wanting to be of help, they choose not to avail themselves of their services. Most often these are individuals who have lived very closeted lives, who have never dealt well, if at all, with their sexuality. Because of their own homophobia or their fear of external homophobia, they are not receptive to supportive services from a carina community. For these individuals, and the infrequent Fabian Bridges cases, resources must be available. And we must be ready to meet them even if our direct involvement is not welcomed. Who better than we understand how difficult it is for some to be comfortable with their sexuality? Still, they are exceptions to the

norm.

les of why what appears to These are but a few exampbe simple is not. There are many, many more. The resulting frustration felt by an often leads to anger, not individual, or a community patience. Many become frustrated with the Health Issues Taskforce for not getting more done, more accomplished. I, for one. Paisn't virtue eithmy

er.

happen, will come together And, yet, I know it will just not as quickly as either you or I would like. The gracious strains of Copland's "Simple Gifts" take us to a time that we imagine to have been or wish were now. Their yearning reflects something we seek, not something that is.

P-FLAG

Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays meets the second Tuesday of every month at Trinity Cathedral at 8 p.m. This month's meeting, on April 8 will be a rap group. All are invited. P-FLAG is presenting a workshop, Coping with Parents, at the All-Ohio Lesbian/Gay/Feminist Conference. Facilitator will be Anne Beebe, of the Akron chapter.

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